


Ramblings of a Crazy Old Hermit - Day 1,120 (Part II)

by crazyoldhermit



Series: Obi-Wan Kenobi: Ramblings of a Crazy Old Hermit [37]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Gen, Satire
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-09
Updated: 2016-07-09
Packaged: 2018-07-22 14:54:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,156
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7443433
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crazyoldhermit/pseuds/crazyoldhermit
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The satirical saga continues, as Obi-Wan says goodbye to his bae Beru, and then some other jerks show up. </p><p>www.ramblingsofacrazyoldhermit.com</p>
            </blockquote>





	Ramblings of a Crazy Old Hermit - Day 1,120 (Part II)

TATOOINE - Day 1,120 (Part II):

We followed the female Mandalorian towards Docking Bay 94. Beru clung tightly to my arm, and kept resting her head on me. Luke was riding on Chewbacca's shoulders, but begged the Lasat to ride on his. 

"No way, kid." The purple creature grumbled. 

As we made our way through the streets I noticed something that I hadn't seen before. There was suddenly a Stormtrooper presence in Mos Eisley. Our once outer rim anonymity now seemed to be under the Empire's watchful eye. I felt relief that I was getting Beru off this planet, but I feared for Luke's safety now more than ever. 

Entering the docking bay, I saw a familiar teenage Twi'lek standing near the ramp to the Ghost. Our two new friends went over to speak with her, and Chewie gave me and Beru some privacy. 

"So, I guess this is it?" Beru said, beginning to cry. 

"It's for the best, my dear." I held her close. 

"Why can't we have a normal life, Ben? I want to experience this pregnancy with you. I want to raise our child together."

I attempted a smile. "As do I, Beru. However, we are living in dark times, and I, as well as Luke, have targets on our backs."

Beru placed her hands on my face, "Then let's run away, far away, where no one could ever find us!"

"That could still happen, my love. Let me meditate on our situation, and hopefully a solution will present itself. In the mean time I want you safe on another planet."

"All aboard!" The Twi'lek yelled. 

Beru went over to say a heart wrenching goodbye to Luke, and I approached the Twi'lek. 

"I know who you are," the green-skinned girl said. 

"Yes, and I know your father. He's a cunning warrior and a brave rebel, if not slightly stubborn."

"Completely pigheaded, you mean," she laughed. 

"I guess that I do not need to explain to you how important it is that my friend gets to Takodana safe and sound?"

"Of course not, Master..."

"Ah, no names please," I interrupted. "I no longer trust this city."

"Understood. We will deliver her safely. Now, if you'll excuse me I need to prep the ship."

Chewie gave Beru a big hairy hug, as Luke cried. He grabbed on to her leg. "Aunt Beru, good luck with your B-A-B-Y!"

She knelt down. "Thank you, sweetie. Please take care of Ben and Chewie for me while I'm gone."

"I will!" Luke smiled. "I'm a big boy now!"

Beru stood and then took my hands into hers. "Ben, I feel like I'm never going to see you again."

"Oh balderdash! You and I have a destiny together. And I will contact you as soon as I feel it is safe."

No more words were spoken, and within a few seconds she had boarded the Ghost and left the atmosphere. For the first time since Chewie arrived on Tatooine, Luke wanted to ride on my shoulders instead of his. 

When we arrived back at my hut Chewie could sense that I needed a few moments to myself, so he offered to take Luke for a walk. I was just about to sit and meditate, when there was a knock at my door. 

"Ah, for Yoda's sake! This better be important." I was in no mood for any bantha crap, like Owen Lars coming to whine about Beru leaving him. I stomped over to the door, and as I swung it open I barked, "What do you want?!"

To my surprise, Greedo stood in my doorway, his thin green lips slightly quivering. "Hello, Kenobi."

"Dammit Greedo, I'm not in the mood for any of your 'Force essence' groveling. So just piss off!"

I went to slam the door, but Greedo's artificial foot caught it before it could close. "I advise you to move that appendage before you lose it and get further into debt with Jabba."

"I'm all paid up, Kenobi." Greedo said, with a confidence that didn't really fit the situation. 

"Well, goodie for you. But if you're looking to collect on the bounty for the Wookiee you're S.O.L. He's gone."

Greedo's robotic foot was stronger than expected, and it kept the door propped open. From behind him I heard a familiar voice, "Bossk ssseeks sssomething elssse." 

From around the side of my hut Bossk came out of hiding. 

"Jeez," I said. "I didn't realize there was a fugly convention in town."

I received a hiss from the second bounty hunter. 

"Listen," I began, opening my door fully, "I understand that you two 'gentlemen' are a little late to the game, but Jabba and I have an arrangement. He doesn't bust my balls, and I don't bust his...whatever he has under all that blubber."

"We're not working for Jabba," said Boba Fett, as he came walking over the dunes. 

"Ah..." I was growing mildly concerned. "Going into business for yourselves? How enterprising! What's the name of your group, The Three Stooges?"

"No Kenobi," Greedo said, backing away from my hut, "we have a new employer."

"Yesss," Bossk added. 

"And," began Boba, "KILGORE, our new employer, has a message for you."

"Please don't tell me you guys are starting a boy band," I laughed. 

Boba Fett bent down like he was going to tie his boot, and a missile launched from his back. I had just enough time to jump out of the way, as I felt the heat singe the side of my face. As I hit the ground, everything around me exploded, then I blacked out. 

When I finally came to, the first thing I was aware of was the terrible high pitched ringing in my ears, and I could feel my heartbeat pounding in my head. The smell of burnt clay filled my nostrils, and when I opened my eyes it was nearly impossible to focus on anything. 

I was able to make out the three shapes of the bounty hunters, as they rooted around in the rubble of my former hut. I heard the muffled sound of one of them claiming they found it. Then Boba Fett knelt down beside me and grabbed my face so that I was forced to look directly at him. He said, "Kilgore, thanks you for this." Then Boba stood and firmly planted his boot into my stomach, knocking the wind out of me. 

The last thing I remember was hearing a Wookiee's roar and the firing of his crossbow. 

When I awoke, it was night. Chewie had apparently pulled me from the wreckage and placed me near the fire. Luke was sitting on a rock, watching over me. 

"Chewie, he's awake! He's awake!" Luke grabbed hold of me and hugged me with all his strength. 

Chewbacca came running over, and looking down at me, said, "Dude?"

I managed a smile and said, "I guess it's time to move."


End file.
